Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
