worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
