can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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