Dual....:-)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
