after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
