we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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