Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
how does that bad decision feel?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
