Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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