Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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