I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
