I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
