I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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