yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
