Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
