I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
