Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
