This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
