oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize