he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize