Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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