Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
