Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
