I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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