I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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