Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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