Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
should my penis look like a turkey
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
