If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize