fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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