somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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