If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
