Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
