I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
