youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
