I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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