I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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