LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
