Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
