Where did you get a picture of my penis
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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