I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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