what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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