I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
