i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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