Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We got so high we made milksteak
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i think im in europe. pls send help
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
