Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
