We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
