So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
