Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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