Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
