they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
there is glitter all over my balls
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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