and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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