Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
only if we run a train.
done.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
