I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
