I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
