Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
