What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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