I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
