Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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