i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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